Should you SUBSCRIBE to the Creature of the Day newsletter?
Should you SUBSCRIBE to Creature of the Day? It may seem like a simple decision, but please read about the process of subscribing and unsubscribing below, then decide:
SUBSCRIBE: If you are not a current subscriber, or if you received a filthy, wretched, worn-out, dog-eared, wine-or-THC-stained forwarded copy of Creature of the Day from your personal assistant, literary agent, stylist, chiropractor, body guard, sadhu, bonbonniere, parole officer, or perhaps a paramedic – you may prefer your own, SEALED, SANITIZED, PRISTINE copy for yourself. Just send an email to Dave with “COTD subscribe” in the subject line. We will CHEERFULLY welcome you into our WORLDWIDE Creature of the Day SUBSCRIBER COMMUNITY, subject to EXTREME VETTING.
UNSUBSCRIBE: If you no longer wish to receive the SPECTACULAR PHOTOGRAPHY, PITHY COMMENTARY, INCISIVE ANALYSIS, and KEEN INSIGHTS jam-packed into every issue of Creature of the Day, please send your 1000-word Cancellation Request Essay, last 10 years of federal tax returns, high school, college, and especially Sunday School transcripts, 3 “Letters of Concurrence” from Nobel Laureates, certified copy of your non-fake birth certificate, recent credit report, along with $1000 cash ($10s, $20s, $50s) to DS COMPOSITION, PO Box 10693, Oakland, CA 94610. We will contact you to schedule your polygraphed EXIT INTERVIEW.
SUBSCRIBE: If you are not a current subscriber, or if you received a filthy, wretched, worn-out, dog-eared, wine-or-THC-stained forwarded copy of Creature of the Day from your personal assistant, literary agent, stylist, chiropractor, body guard, sadhu, bonbonniere, parole officer, or perhaps a paramedic – you may prefer your own, SEALED, SANITIZED, PRISTINE copy for yourself. Just send an email to Dave with “COTD subscribe” in the subject line. We will CHEERFULLY welcome you into our WORLDWIDE Creature of the Day SUBSCRIBER COMMUNITY, subject to EXTREME VETTING.
UNSUBSCRIBE: If you no longer wish to receive the SPECTACULAR PHOTOGRAPHY, PITHY COMMENTARY, INCISIVE ANALYSIS, and KEEN INSIGHTS jam-packed into every issue of Creature of the Day, please send your 1000-word Cancellation Request Essay, last 10 years of federal tax returns, high school, college, and especially Sunday School transcripts, 3 “Letters of Concurrence” from Nobel Laureates, certified copy of your non-fake birth certificate, recent credit report, along with $1000 cash ($10s, $20s, $50s) to DS COMPOSITION, PO Box 10693, Oakland, CA 94610. We will contact you to schedule your polygraphed EXIT INTERVIEW.