Should you SUBSCRIBE to the Creature of the Day newsletter?
(We publish from time to time, about 10-15 issues per year.)
Should you SUBSCRIBE to Creature of the Day? It may seem like a simple decision, but please read about the process of subscribing and unsubscribing below, then decide:
SUBSCRIBE: If you are not a current subscriber, or if you received a filthy, wretched, worn-out, dog-eared, wine-or-THC-stained forwarded copy of Creature of the Day from your personal assistant, literary agent, stylist, chiropractor, body guard, sadhu, bonbonniere, parole officer, or perhaps a paramedic – you may prefer your own, SEALED, SANITIZED, PRISTINE copy for yourself. Just send an email to Dave with “COTD subscribe” in the subject line.
UNSUBSCRIBE: If you no longer wish to receive the SPECTACULAR PHOTOGRAPHY, PITHY COMMENTARY, INCISIVE ANALYSIS, and KEEN INSIGHTS jam-packed into every issue of Creature of the Day, please send your 1000-word Cancellation Request Essay, last 10 years of federal tax returns, high school, college, and especially Sunday School transcripts, 3 “Letters of Concurrence” from Nobel Laureates, certified copy of your non-fake birth certificate, recent credit report, along with $1000 cash ($10s, $20s, $50s) to DS COMPOSITION, PO Box 10693, Oakland, CA 94610. We will contact you to schedule your polygraphed EXIT INTERVIEW. Or... just reply "UNSUBSCRIBE".
SUBSCRIBE: If you are not a current subscriber, or if you received a filthy, wretched, worn-out, dog-eared, wine-or-THC-stained forwarded copy of Creature of the Day from your personal assistant, literary agent, stylist, chiropractor, body guard, sadhu, bonbonniere, parole officer, or perhaps a paramedic – you may prefer your own, SEALED, SANITIZED, PRISTINE copy for yourself. Just send an email to Dave with “COTD subscribe” in the subject line.
UNSUBSCRIBE: If you no longer wish to receive the SPECTACULAR PHOTOGRAPHY, PITHY COMMENTARY, INCISIVE ANALYSIS, and KEEN INSIGHTS jam-packed into every issue of Creature of the Day, please send your 1000-word Cancellation Request Essay, last 10 years of federal tax returns, high school, college, and especially Sunday School transcripts, 3 “Letters of Concurrence” from Nobel Laureates, certified copy of your non-fake birth certificate, recent credit report, along with $1000 cash ($10s, $20s, $50s) to DS COMPOSITION, PO Box 10693, Oakland, CA 94610. We will contact you to schedule your polygraphed EXIT INTERVIEW. Or... just reply "UNSUBSCRIBE".